“When I get angry, I feel good.” 

Shockingly, LA Galaxy striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic, from whom those amazing words issued, made the news last weekend after his game-winning goal against Real Salt Lake, when he — immediately after the ball swelled in the back of the net — aggressively approached center back Nedum Onuoha and, uh, yelled in his face for a few moments. 

Here is the moment in all its glory:

You don't want to upset the Lion. ?

Zlatan makes it 2-1! #LAvRSL https://t.co/lLl7fh68Fk

— Major League Soccer (@MLS) April 29, 2019

Zlatan is like the perfect counterpart to Bruce Banner, but the exact opposite: Banner doesn’t actually like being the Hulk. That’s the whole thing of his role throughout the latter stages of the Avengers series . . . keeping “the green guy” at bay. Were Zlatan in Banner’s shoes, though, he’d apparently rather the green guy always be out. 

Here is how Onuoha felt after the game:

Nedum Onuoha explains to @syarock what happened when Zlatan came into the @realsaltlake locker room and why he didn't accept Zlatan's apology. #RSL #mls #rsltid pic.twitter.com/RNH36Olpv7

— Jeremiah Jensen (@JJSportsBeat) April 29, 2019

The affronted defender called the incident “unacceptable.” 

I don’t know, guys. In a world where there is literally an infinite amount of things about which to be legitimately upset and aggrieved — war, human rights abuses, rampant wealth inequality, etc. etc. etc. — I just have such a hard time getting upset at what amounts to adolescent males jockeying for position in a pack.